Home Archive › Forums › General Category › Gossip › best put downs asked for by lassie
- This topic has 14 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 9 months ago by
*Lassie*.
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July 5, 2009 at 11:18 am #63697
kizkiznobite
Membermate with dog meets weirdo….exposes himself to her….
she looks down at it and says….
‘for gods sake put it away…the chipolatas i got in my treat bag are bigger than that….dog wouldnt even taste it…’
‘it’ reduced in size very quickly
she then said…
‘blimey she wouldnt even be able to see it now’
July 5, 2009 at 12:37 pm #99811*Nat*
MemberπΒ πΒ πΒ π
July 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm #99812Val
MemberWhy don’t you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.
or
Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings?Friend said this to a judge….You’re so bent you make roundabouts look straight!
July 5, 2009 at 6:12 pm #99813kerrie and stan
Memberπ π π
July 5, 2009 at 8:07 pm #99814SuzAndTheDiva
Member;DΒ ;D
July 5, 2009 at 8:21 pm #99815kizkiznobite
Memberyou really really should have learnt from your parents mistakes….
what? you think you did?
ah right…ok goodo…you use birth control then…
July 5, 2009 at 9:34 pm #99816dogloverwoooo!
Member;DΒ πΒ π
July 5, 2009 at 10:01 pm #99817*Nat*
MemberSome drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too!
July 6, 2009 at 7:33 am #99818Sweetypye
MemberObscene phone caller “Do you know what I am holding in my hand”
Response “if you can hold it in one hand I am not interested”
July 6, 2009 at 2:03 pm #99819*Lassie*
Member[quote author=kizkiznobite link=topic=14454.msg269638#msg269638 date=1246792695]
mate with dog meets weirdo….exposes himself to her….she looks down at it and says….
‘for gods sake put it away…the chipolatas i got in my treat bag are bigger than that….dog wouldnt even taste it…’
‘it’ reduced in size very quickly
she then said…
‘blimey she wouldnt even be able to see it now’
[/quote]Brilliant ;D ;D
My Mum told one woman that if she shut her gob her ears might work as her brain couldn’t do two things at once. >:D
[quote author=Sweetypye link=topic=14454.msg269704#msg269704 date=1246865623]
Obscene phone caller “Do you know what I am holding in my hand”Response “if you can hold it in one hand I am not interested”
[/quote]Good one ;D
Who does the sharpest put downs? Northerns or Southerns
July 7, 2009 at 5:09 pm #99820Sweetypye
MemberCould you please tell me which village is currently missing an idiot?
July 7, 2009 at 5:33 pm #99821kerrie and stan
Memberπ π
July 7, 2009 at 5:56 pm #99822Sweetypye
MemberWhat a lovely dress, I have ALWAYS liked it.
July 7, 2009 at 7:21 pm #99823*Lassie*
MemberComedian to heckler: βWe could have a battle of wits, but youβre unarmed.β
July 7, 2009 at 7:48 pm #99824*Lassie*
MemberDon’t let your mind wander — it’s too little to be let out alone.
The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.
The wheel is still spinning but the hamster died.
We all spring from apes but you didn’t spring far enough.
Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.
When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
He – If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
She – If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.He – Your face must turn a few heads.
She – And your face must turn a few stomachs.You’re quite a wit…. well, I was half right.
He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed
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