how to deal with seperation anxiety

[Anonymous]

I have St John’s wort from holland and barrett  🙂  Good Luck with everything  🙂

[*jody*]

Well, I know its been a while and Ive slacked a bit after all the stuff with Amber, but I feel I really need to start doing something about Dante, he still has the SA and its slipping again…

We’ve seem to naturally got out of the destructiveness, we now give him the kitchen and front room so there isnt any barriers, and he hasnt chewed anything since Amber went (OH has replaced the doorframe now yey!).  I think he tends to sit in the window (on the sofa in front of) and wait for us most of the time we are out.  I want to take this one step at a time though.  He is still very vocal if he even thinks we are going out.  The vets wont prescibe colicalm (sp) for him at the moment, but I still believe its workable – its kinda become a way of life after all this time and I have got used to it, but it is his state of mind that concerns me as he has started shaking/trembling before I leave which is relatively new. 

One step at a time though, any advice on how to get him used to me just moving around the house to begin with.  This behaviour stopped whilst we had Amber, but since she has gone he has re-started whining if I go upstairs.  He doesnt follow me up, but races to the bottom of the stairs, watches me walk up and then starts pacing around downstairs crying and yapping (same sort of noise as on the video).  This can be if I have just popped upstairs to get something which takes a few seconds.  If I go up for a period of time e.g. a shower, I put him in the kitchen or the kids come up with me, and the kids both know just to ignore him while he’s having a whinge (it is very obvious that if he is paid any attention i.e. talked to etc in this frame of mind he just gets louder and more anxious) he also doesnt respond to much either as in commands, he’s pretty incoherient.

With regards to when I actually go out, this doesnt happen very often now as my Mother in law looks after my two at the house with him, so he is rarely left other than in the school holidays – but I will work on that next.

[*jody*]

Ooo the other thing, I truely am set of fixing this as I would like to consider a new addition in the future, but with him acting like this I dont want to end up with two doing it!  Need to get him sorted out first.

[.dodger.]

don’t know if you’ve already read this but until someone who can advise you comes on it’s the best i can do! ;D
https://www.resources.dogclub.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,5690.0.html

[*jody*]

Hiya, thanks Laura, just re-read the entire thread, but most refers to actually leaving the house, I will get to that next, I need to take this in baby steps I think.

I will be going down about the St Johns Wort tommorow – Ill have to do a little research to find out how much he needs.  TBH it hasnt been very obvious recently and he was starting to get much better where he hasnt been left, but since Amber has gone and being easter holidays and having been left once or twice, its become more apparent again in a short space of time.  He has been left once or twice but not for long i.e. 10 mins.

[.dodger.]

So it’s not just when you leave the house it’s when you leave him in a room by himself?

If it is could you not use the same process as leaving the house with the room. So you do the same thing except instead of leaving the house you just leave the room so gradually he gets the idea that you can leave a room but you are going to be coming back ??? just a thought! 🙂

[*jody*]

Yep, Ive tried walking halfway up, then coming back down, and its usually quite ramdom how long Im up there for, but there is no pattern to his crying, I pop up to get something, he whines, I go up for a shower, he’s fine and some days visa versa.

Thanks for the thought though  :-* Plenty of exercise running up and down those stairs Ill be as fit as a fiddle in no time 😀  This has all flared up since Amber has gone, we were finally getting somewhere towards the end.

[.dodger.]

😀 😀 well that one way to keep fit!

[kizkiznobite]

you need to teach him that being left is a good thing – when you have to pop upstairs give him a treat to work at dnt re-enforce it with stuff like just going upstairs for a few minutes etc just chuck him a treat ball, buster cube, kong, pigs ear etc and when you come back down just ignore him

[*jody*]

Thanks Kiz, hadnt tried the treat for going upstairs yet so Ill start that.

I know I should of done something sooner, I was just so wrapped up with Amber and her issues, hers were much more risky and significant at the time.

Ive just noitced as Im typing this, even though Im downstairs he is still pacing and whining as hubby is still upstairs in bed (lucky thing :D), he seems to have a more definate attachment to him, if we are both in the house and hubby pops out, he whined and paces sitting by the door too.  I try to distract him with games/playing but he’s still intent on worrying where he is

ETA:  Again this has all become more apparent since Amber went, he didnt whine whilst I moved around the house when Amber was here.

[kerrie and stan]

i dont mean to sound funny but it sounds like you have a hierachy issue, it sounds asthough your pup has taken on the role of top dog since amber went.

[kizkiznobite]

dante has had serious issues around seperation anxiety from day one – even as a tiny pup his behaviour with this was extreme and amber – a rescue in need of a forever home was hopefully going to be his pack mate and help with these issues however it didnt work out due to her illness

[*jody*]

I think what the most frustrating part for me is that I know what I need to do, but how do you convince someone to work with you who still thinks he will just grow out of this.  I want to put the time and effort in, but without my hubby working with me on this one is it ever going to work.

I have already noticed, I have put many of the things in this thread into practise, and as a result, when it is just me leaving him etc, his behaviour when I leave has worsened again for said reasons, but he is more calmer when I return now, but there is an obvious constrast to how he reacts when OH comes home, still old self and very anxious.  If both of us are home and I go out, he barely blinks an eye. 

Just a thought, but do you think maybe, Dante is in a mild state of panic from when my husband leaves?

[kerrie and stan]

i know how you feel with the partner thing, my dogs used to ignore him yet he wouldnt listen to anything that i said to him about how to get the dogs to pay attention. as for the growing out of it, were it is a behavoural issue if anything the problem may get worse

[quote author=kizkiznobite link=topic=5690.msg207515#msg207515 date=1206781657]
dante has had serious issues around seperation anxiety from day one – even as a tiny pup his behaviour with this was extreme and amber – a rescue in need of a forever home was hopefully going to be his pack mate and help with these issues however it didnt work out due to her illness
[/quote]

i dont know his history so i was just giving my oppinion on what was said in the post

[*jody*]

Just an update…

Ive been using the treats for going upstairs and he appears to be fretting less now, but the best thing, on Thursday I have to pick Dan up from school, usually this still gets his knickers in a twist even though Im only gone 20 mins max, HOWEVER  🙂 Started getting ready and no noise, he was watching me but not whining, so tossed him a liver treat, told him he was a good boy (was a bit worried the attention may set him off but it didnt) than carried on getting ready – still keeping it low key.  Just about to walk out the door, still only watching and no noise so told him he was a good boy then left.

Result – I walked out without leaving behind a whining/yapping/yawning dog for the first time since we got him really.  I must say that I was speechless that he was… well… speechless!

ETA:, I think it has something to do with the games we have been playing recently.  A lovely behaviourist I recently did a portrait for sent me two books as a thank you, Mary Ray’s Dog Tricks and Dancing with Dogs, I had Dante giving me a high five with both paws from a beg position within 10 minutes, and we have done some of the weave exercises too.

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