You Know You’ve Waited Too Long to Find a Partner When . . .

[*Lassie*]

You Know You’ve Waited Too Long to Find a Partner When . . .

1.you talk about “scoring” you mean how you did at last weekend’s
agility show.
2.. you meet a guy named BOB and instantly visualise red and blue rosettes.
3.. you think nothing about loudly discussing studs and bitches in a
fancy restaurant.
4.. the first thing you notice about a guy is what breed of dog he has.
5.. you think stripping is something you do to a terrier.
6.. your biggest turn-off is a guy with an obnoxious, untrained dog.
7.. you have ever ruled out a guy as a prospective date based on the
breed of dog he owns.
8.. you dismiss all the guys your mother introduces you to as “not
breeding quality”.
9.. you never could stick to a diet to impress a guy, but you can do
it to get through that Olympia final.
10.. your only nice jewellery features either dogs, dumbbells, or rosettes.
11.. you have a video on how to artificially inseminate your dog but
last watched a dirty film in sixth form.
l.2. your dog has more letters after his name than the last ten guys
you’ve dated, and actually completed obedience school.
13.. you start using operant conditioning techniques to get what you
want from your boyfriend, and you hide your copy of “Don’t Shoot The
Dog”.
14.. you think that maybe your current guy has potential if you use the
proper combination of positive reinforcement and the occasional
well-timed ear pinch.
15.. you “people watch” at Tesco’s by making mental lists of the
conformational faults each by-passer has to contribute to the gene
pool.
16 you think if you ever did marry and have children that you
wouldn’t have to buy a playpen because you already have an extra
x-pen. And why buy a crib?? Crates are cheaper and they’re enclosed on
all sides.
17.. you give all of your married friends child-rearing advice based on
your extensive background in dog training.
18.. your mother’s worst fear is that you’ll have a child and make it
wear a collar.
19.. your mother’s second worst fear is you’ll get married and your dog
will be in the wedding party.
20.. you actually have friends whose dogs HAVE been part of the wedding party.
21.. your cousin tells you how much her wedding costs you think how
many show-quality puppies that could buy you.
22.. all of your friends always include your dog in any invitation they
issue to you. Of course, you reciprocate because you only have doggy
friends left … the others have stopped inviting you anywhere because
you insist on bringing the dog!
23.. you read the personal ads; you skip past the vital statistics and
rule out any that don’t say “animal lover”.
24.. you know your dog’s cholesterol but not your own.
25.. you lament to your friends about chronic yeast infections, they
don’t know you’re talking about your dog’s ears.
26.. you last had a professional portrait done in your teens, but you
just spent 50% of your dog’s purchase price having his done by the
best canine photographer in the country.
27.. you and your dog use the same kind of hairbrush, and you
occasionally forget whose is whose.
28.. you spend 8 hours grooming your dog for a show the day before,
and 1.25 minutes ponytailing your hair the morning of.
29.. you think that people with bad bites shouldn’t be allowed to breed.
30.. your mother is ecstatic to see you browsing the aisle with the
hair colouring, after hounding you for three year to try
highlighting. … Only to be disappointed when she finds you are
looking for peroxide to “touch up” your dog’s drool marks.
31.. someone mentions single bars, you wonder if they are talking
about agility jumps.
32.. you go “clubbing”, you have your choice of the all-breed club,
the ring-craft club, the obedience club, or the agility club.
33.. you once made earrings out of old dog ID tags, and all your
friends wanted a pair.

[SuzAndTheDiva]

think number 19 is probably my mums worst fear  ;D

[*Lassie*]

[quote author=SuzAndTheDiva link=topic=13458.msg257677#msg257677 date=1231964068]
think number 19 is probably my mums worst fear  ;D
[/quote]

;D ;D ;D

27.. you and your dog use the same kind of hairbrush, and you
occasionally forget whose is whose.

I’m probably guilty of that :embarrass:

[SuzAndTheDiva]

urgh yeah guilty of that too specially when i look like i got dragged through a hedge and have to go see chiropracter  😀

I also happen to agree with the bad bites thing  >:D

[kerrie and stan]

14.. you think that maybe your current guy has potential if you use the
proper combination of positive reinforcement and the occasional
well-timed ear pinch.

😀 😀 thats me

[*Lassie*]

[quote author=SuzAndTheDiva link=topic=13458.msg257684#msg257684 date=1231964349]
urgh yeah guilty of that too specially when i look like i got dragged through a hedge and have to go see chiropracter  😀

I also happen to agree with the bad bites thing  >:D
[/quote]

😮 😮 😮 ;D

[SuzAndTheDiva]

what its true i really hate bad teeth  :vomit:  😀

[Foxisle_crazy]

LOL!

[Author]

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