Home Archive › Forums › General Category › Jokes and Poems section › Are you REALLY into Dogs ?
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*Nick*.
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AuthorPosts
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September 30, 2008 at 4:39 pm #62222
*Lassie*
MemberThis was on another forum but don’t think they will mind the x post
think most of us will score between 36 and 50 ;DAre you REALLY into Dogs ?
1. You own more leashes than belts.
2. You can’t understand why heads snap around at work when you discuss your
“bitch.”
3. All your clothes have plastic bags in the pockets.
4. Your dogs have more — and better! — toys than you do.
5. You think it’s completely normal to discuss your dog’s stools at the
dinner table.
6. You select a new vehicle solely on its suitability for carrying your
dogs and their gear.
7. Your mattress is old enough to vote, but your dogs get brand-new beds
every Christmas.
8. You watch “Letterman” only on Stupid Pet Trick night.
9. You have no photos of your spouse in your wallet — just the dogs.
10. Your dog’s shampoo: $18.00 a bottle, plus $5.00 for second-day air
shipment. Your shampoo: Whatever’s on sale.
11. You never bother to wash you hands after petting the dog even before
eating
12. You expect to find a little dog hair in each meal and think of
it as “added fibre”.
13. You wake up instantly when your dog whines, but never wake up
when someone calls your name or your alarm goes off.
14. You will rush your dog to the vet at the smallest injury or cough, but
wait to take yourself to the doctor unless it is really severe.
15. You are willing to get up and walk the puppy at any time of, night
with a cheerful “good dog”, but grumble and complain when someone calls you
in the
middle of the night.
16. You know peoples’ dog’s names before you know theirs. And when you talk
about someone it goes like this: “You know the person that owns the sable
German GSD really got some good advice from the person with the Corgi…”
17. Your entire wardrobe is covered in dog hair. You still find dog hair
even when you have been away from dogs for months.
18. You notice the breed of someone’s dog, but don’t even notice if the
person who had the dog was male or female.
19. New puppies cause “oh isn’t he so cute. He sure has grown recently…
How
adorable!” while human children only get “What a cute new puppy in the
family”
20. You talk to people in short phrases: “Billy come”, “Joe Sit”, “Watch
me”, “good boy!”
21. When someone does something that pleases you are inclined to
reach in your pocket for a piece of food as a reward.
22. You feel the urge to put choke chains on people when they misbehave.
23. You ask old friends about their dogs before you ask about the family.
24. You send out Christmas pictures of the dog, not the family.
25. When you are away from home you call to ask about the dog.
26. You ask pregnant women when they are due to whelp.
27. When you are talking you have the urge to spell out the words, that
your dog reacts to like “W_A_L_K” and “O_U_T” whenever they are used in a
sentence, even if the dog is not around.
28. You open all doors cautiously to make sure the dog doesn’t run out,
even at other people’s houses.
29. Dog related activities dictate your weekends and evenings
30. You own more dog training videos than all other videos combined.
31. You own more dog training books than all other books combined.
32. Your dog’s brushes and combs sit next to your own
33. Your dog has a wardrobe as large as your own.
34. You have more pictures of your dogs on the walls of your house
than of your human family, or the dog is included in all family photos.
35. You greet your dogs before you greet the rest of the family when you
have been gone.
36. Your dog’s food costs more in one month than your own.
37. You celebrate your dog’s birthday by giving your dog presents, cake and
have their “friends” come over for a party.
38. Your dog receives a stocking at Christmas
39. Your favourite stores to go to are pet stores, because your dog is
welcome to come in.
40. You hate people that beg, because they just can’t get that innocent
look like your dog.
41. Your dog has more toys than your children
42. Your phone bill is full of calls to your dog’s groomer, breeder,
trainer, show handler, hotel reservations for dog shows, dog show friends,
other dog
people, etc.
43. Every conversation you have tends to turn to the topic of dogs.
44. If you had a choice between living with your spouse and your dog, you
would choose the dog.
45. You spend more time at work reading dog related e-mail than you do
actually working.
46. The initials DHLP, AKC, CHD, PRA, CERF, ARBA, BOB, BIS, BOS, BOV, CD,
CDX, OTCH, EDX, JH, MH, LCX, etc. are common abbreviations in your
vocabulary.
47. You can recognize more than 100 breeds of dogs on sight.
48. Crufts show on TV takes all precedence over any other program
during the dates it is on.
49. You are subscribed to two or more dog related magazines and eagerly
await their arrival.
50. You feel the urge to neuter or spay anyone who mistreats their dogs, or
allows their dogs to run loose.Scoring:
0-5: Get rid of your dog, you really must not enjoy them much.
6-15: You are amused by your dog
16-25: You really enjoy the company of dogs
26-35: You are hooked to dogs
36-45: You are beginning to resemble your dog
46-50: Your dog lives a better life than you doSeptember 30, 2008 at 5:12 pm #113841Foxisle_crazy
Member45…and proud! 😀
September 30, 2008 at 5:40 pm #113842xtine
Memberlost count 😀
some of those are so true ;DSeptember 30, 2008 at 5:47 pm #113843.dodger.
Memberlol 38 ;D ;D ;D ;D
September 30, 2008 at 6:25 pm #113844waggietail
Member:yes:
44. If you had a choice between living with your spouse and your dog, you
would choose the dog.
lol my other half laughed at that one, i would never see my life without a dog in it…..September 30, 2008 at 7:26 pm #113845*Lassie*
MemberI got 47 ::)
3. All your clothes have plastic bags in the pockets.
yep, some of them wash better than others if I forget to take them out before putting the clothes in the washing machine :crazy:September 30, 2008 at 7:33 pm #113846GSPmad
Member44. ;D
21. When someone does something that pleases you are inclined to
reach in your pocket for a piece of food as a reward.I am very guilty of that one. :-[ ;D
September 30, 2008 at 7:42 pm #113847*Lassie*
Member44. If you had a choice between living with your spouse and your dog, you
would choose the dog.Someone asked my husband who I would choose between him and the dogs….. he got the answer right >:D
September 30, 2008 at 8:26 pm #113848GSPmad
MemberSorry, meant I got 44 out of 50. :-[
I go a step beyond and don’t have a spouse cos they might not behave right round dogs. ;D
September 30, 2008 at 8:53 pm #113849Foxisle_crazy
MemberI get wrong for doing this
20. You talk to people in short phrases: “Billy come”, “Joe Sit”, “Watch
me”, “good boy!”Gets his (OHs) attention though! ;D ;D
September 30, 2008 at 8:55 pm #113850*Nick*
Member42 out of 50
I am extremely guilty of this one :yes:
18. You notice the breed of someone’s dog, but don’t even notice if the
person who had the dog was male or female.September 30, 2008 at 9:29 pm #113851GSPmad
Member[quote author=*Nick* link=topic=12585.msg243321#msg243321 date=1222808153]
42 out of 50I am extremely guilty of this one :yes:
18. You notice the breed of someone’s dog, but don’t even notice if the
person who had the dog was male or female.
[/quote]what about if it’s a naked dog walker? ;D
September 30, 2008 at 9:35 pm #113852*Nick*
Memberwell like I’ve said before..there’s good naked and bad naked …………
but ya I might notice then :gum:
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